there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
