i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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