When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
