I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Randomize
