eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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