I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Randomize
