Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
