So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
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