guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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