actually, I'm a sock model
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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