craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
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