I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
