God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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