He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize