I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Randomize
