Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
