His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
