hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
soo... how was my night?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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