I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
