I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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