That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Do vagina's smell?
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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