She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
