from now on my penis is your penis
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Randomize