so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
