There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize