Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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