what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Randomize
