you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
