That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
