Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
even my farts smell like vagina
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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