I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
