something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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