i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Randomize
