I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize