mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
