wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Randomize
