remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
