i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Randomize
