Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
