thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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