so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
