Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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