where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Randomize
