If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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