piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
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