I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
My life is pants optional.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
