I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
