Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
