I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
