Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
