I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Randomize
