so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
