No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
