Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Randomize
