My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
