i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Sorry about my life...
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Randomize