I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize