D3 body, D1 cock
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
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