You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i may or may not be watching the land before time
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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