its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
found the other keg... it's in the tree
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
