All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
